Apparently, you wouldn’t like Edward Norton when he’s angry. The notoriously difficult actor, who once made his American History X director Tony Kaye wish he were the one getting curb stomped, has been cut as the Hulk from the forthcoming The Avengers movie. Which means we’ll get a third big-screen Hulk this decade, after Norton’s The Incredible Hulk and Eric Bana’s daddy-issue laden Hulk failed to smash box office records.

So who should Marvel and director Joss Whedon cast alongside Robert Downey Jr., Samuel L. Jackson, Scarlett Johansson and Chris Evans? We need look no further than the Whedonverse for some incredible alternatives.

• Adam Baldwin: The man they called Jayne certainly has the physique to pull it off.
• Seth Green: Sure, he played a midget named Oz, but he has experience transforming into a werewolf. Plus, his last name is Green.
• David Boreanaz: The broad-shouldered Angel could perfect the Bruce Banner brood.
• Amy Acker: If she can make us buy Fred turning into an ancient blue demon, she could probably sell turning into a green monster. She’s that good.
• Joss Whedon: Hey, he already went green to play the joy-dancing Numfar of the Deathwok Clan on Angel.

I couldn’t help but wonder: Could Sex and the City 2 be as bad as all the critics say? The reviews aren’t just bad; they’re downright angry and hateful. Although the movie fails to live up to the wit and panache of the HBO series and will likely disappoint longtime devotees, it’s hardly the death knell of feminism that critics paint it to be. That was Ally McBeal, remember?

To be fair, the movie isn’t very good. It actually makes the first film look amazing in comparison, and that one couldn’t quite deliver on the sometimes brilliant heights of the series. I criticized the final season of SatC for packing too much plot into 30-minute episodes. Take the episode “The Catch” in which Charlotte marries Harry and like 300 other things happen. Somehow, the two-and-a-half hour Sex and the City 2 has less plot in it.

Continue reading A hard day's Arabian night

So the Internet’s been abuzz that there’s an awesome new Street Fighter short film (above) that like totally redeems the legacy left behind by Hollywood’s abominable take on the franchise. I’m not going to say that Raul Julia died of embarrassment over playing M. Bison opposite Jean-Claude Van Damme’s Guile, but I will say that it’s his last-ever film and heavily insinuate that Street Fighter did indeed psycho crush his soul.

While Street Fighter: Legacy is nowhere near as bad as seeing Noxzema’s Kristin Kreuk play Chun-Li, let’s face it: it’s not very good. The special moves just come off as goofy when performed by people, and the special effects on the hadouken are pretty laughable. As is Ken’s hair. And Ryu’s eyebrows. However, it does feature one thing that makes it the best SF film ever made: At the 1:32 mark, Ryu kicks Ken in the neck—hard—and it leaves a dirt mark. And while it won’t make me unsee Kylie Minogue in blue camo spandex, that’s still pretty awesome.

It was a bit of a surprise how much I enjoyed the first Iron Man and I’ve been stupidly excited for the sequel. Miraculously, it lives up to my expectations and avoids the sophomore slump. It also continues to set itself apart from so many other so-so comic/superhero movies.

The movie picks up well after the world has found out that Tony Stark is Iron Man. He’s been cleaning up the world’s problems, but still has plenty of his own. The government is after him because it wants his suit. Competing defense companies want to take him down. There’s a Russian scientist with a serious axe to grind and electric whips to slice and dice anything in his way. It’s not easy being Iron Man.

Continue reading A Stark difference

It’s been two years … and I am still totally in love with Sex and the City. I’ve been living in Manhattan for a year and a half, and as embarrassing as it is to reveal to all of Gig Matrix’ reader, I still get excited when I go to a place I recognize from SatC. I bought a Buffy comic at the comic book store Carrie went to! I run where Charlotte runs! And one time I was a total bitch at the exact same place as Miranda! The only thing I haven’t done is have sex as the same place as Samantha, but I’m working on it.

Despite the first movie’s faults, I loved it, and the new trailer for Sex and the City 2 has me very excited. Samantha is wearing Glambert-esque shoulder pads! Charlotte is struggling with motherhood! Miranda is there! And Carrie might do to Big what she did to Aidan, but this time with Aidan! Also, they go to Abu Dhabi, like Nermil. What?!

Of all the video game-to-film adaptations, Resident Evil has certainly been the most successful, at least enough to justify a fourth in the series, this time in 3D. The first certainly had its B-movie charms, but subsequent ones were pretty terrible.

Resident Evil: Afterlife looks to introduce more characters from the games, such as the Redfield siblings (portrayed by Wentworth Miller and Ali Larter, as seen on TV) and big bad Albert Wesker. Unfortunately, it also looks a lot like The Matrix (which came out in 1999, people), only with gratuitous shurikens totally flying toward your face in 3D. Can’t wait (eye roll).

George Michael is reunited with Ann in what looks like No More Heroes: The Movie. Her?

So … Coco was pretty boring before Chanel.

While I didn’t expect to be disappointed by Martin Scrosese’s latest film, I was pleasantly surprised to find that Shutter Island is the best movie I’ve seen in awhile. My one word review when the credits started rolling was simply: “Wow.”

The movie does an excellent job of keeping tension in the air and keeping you guessing what direction things will take. Leonardo DiCaprio does an amazing job as a man haunted by his past who travels to a mental institution for the criminally insane to solve the disappearance of a patient. But as he begins to unravel a larger mystery, his reality becomes more and more unhinged. Mark Ruffalo, Ben Kingsley and Michelle Williams also turn in stellar performances.

This movie had me riveted the entire time and talking about it for some time after. You might not want to live on Shutter Island, but it’s a great place to visit.

… Well, I guess we know what movie is following in the footsteps of Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li as top contender for this year’s Moldy Award.