Pirates!

Opening Friday is the much-anticipated sequel to Pirates of the Caribbean: Curse of the Black Pearl (god, that title is still way too long).

In preparation Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest, I thought it fitting we put together some pirate lingo for our readers. Er, our scalawags! It’s all the rage on the streets — I hear the Crips and Bloods are even picking it up and using it as code as they terrorize Los Angeles. You can’t be too careful — gotta be able to communicate with kids of today. Read on, me buckos!

• Avast! — Hey, how’s it going. Nice parrot.
• Black Spot — a sign of doom. To Place the Black Spot on another buccaneer is to curse him. Or it could mean that rash is going around the ship again.

• Cat o’ nine tails — a whip with multiple lashes on it. Sort of like hair extensions, except you hit people with it. See Kabuki Quantum Fighter.

Other Pirates! And that Elf!

• Chandler — a merchant in a port who sells swag to a buccaneer. Also known as a “Sutler” or “Ship-chandler,” but not a Ross, Rachel, or Joey.
• Deadlights — Your eyes. As in “Keep your Deadlights peeled, bucko, or I’ll place the Black Spot on yer!” I think it’s also part of a Stephen King novel. Anybody have a reference? Oh, if Wikipedia wasn’t so hard to type.
• Gangway! — Get out of my way, man! I’ve got to hit the head! Too much mutton stew!
• Jolly Roger — The traditional pirate gang symbol — skull and crossbones. Apparently this meant that surrender would be accepted and prisoners treated well. A red flag meant you’re better off with that rabbit from Monty Python and the Holy Grail! “That rabbit’s dynamite!”
• Kiss the gunner’s daughter — Means to be bent over one of the ship’s cannon’s and flogged. Uh, maybe I better categorize this post under “Gay.”
• Keelhaul — Punishment for being a scurvy dog by being dragged underneath the ship, scraping you up on the barnacles and giving you a really bad case of Hook-itis. Oh, and probably drowning, too.
• Poop deck — Favorite part of the ship for 3rd graders worldwide. The highest deck at the aft end of a large ship. Smaller ships don’t have a poop. And there you have it.