In 1999, dub raggae duo Sly and Robbie released an album produced by drum & bass guy Howie B. The result was “Drum & Bass Strip to the Bone,” an excellent if oddly titled album of genre-bending funkiness.

Palm Pictures, the label that released “Strip to the Bone,” also released a companion DVD. And given that odd title, what do you suppose that DVD features?

The “Strip to the Bone” DVD is 13 videos — representing most of the tracks on the CD — of strippers. Like, naked strippers. Women named “Jackie Lick.” Dancing to dub & bass.

I knew this when I bought the DVD. But it can’t be that bad, I thought. It must be tastefully done, I thought. And if nothing else, the music is presented in 5.1-channel Dolby Digital, I thought. That, at least, will be cool, I thought.

Yeah.

This DVD is a damn abomination.

First, it is that bad, and it is not tastefully done. The stripping begins without introduction (despite a “hosted by” credit on the back of the box). We see our first naughty bit two seconds in, and we don’t stop seeing naughty bits for the next half hour.

It’s quickly obvious that these are not “videos” shot and “directed” specifically for the songs, as claimed on the back of the box. Indeed, the dancers’ rhythm rarely syncs with that of the songs. It’s also clear that most of the footage comes from relatively public performances. Like, there are dudes getting lapdances in the background here, and someone’s drink is covering up part of the shot there. This is obviously a budget operation.

The special effects (on the videos that aren’t just stock footage) are decidedly unspecial, and consist primarily of rapid flashes of light that should have earned the disc a seizure warning next to its explicit content warning. Speaking of which, a very high percentage of “director” Jeff Stein’s shots are extreme close-ups of nipples. Just so you know what I’m watching here.

But the music, right? Dolby Digital? Surround? A markedly different experience than that afforded by a simple CD?

Fucking hardly.

There’s some response from my rear satellite speakers, so that’s nice, but not one of the songs is complete. Each one has been edited down (usually just inelegantly faded) to better suit the fucking unbridled genius that is Stein’s beyond-gratuitous nipple shots. ‘Cause, y’know, without all the strippers, all we have is, like, good music.

The good part is that with all the editing, the disc is only like 35 minutes long, so it ended before I could finish sawing at my throat with the sharpest edge of the disc’s case. I guess that’s a good thing.

I am appalled that I own this.