(The scene: Brian and Reuben sitting at home trying to decide whether to see G.I. Joe at the movie theater.)

BRIAN: I think we should go, Reuben. It’ll be fun!
REUBEN: I don’t know, Brian. What if we spend $10 each on tickets and it stinks?
BRIAN: Don’t be such a chicken.

(Suddenly, Duke walks in.)

DUKE: That’s right, Reuben. If you don’t go see my new movie, you’re a chicken. And Cobra will win. Is that what you want? Do you want Cobra and the forces of evil to win?!?
REUBEN: Well, no, but I don’t think just because I don’t want to see a movie whose plot will probably be nonsensical makes me a chicken.
DUKE: You’re right. It makes you a terrorist who hates America and freedom.
BRIAN: Well, gee, Duke, why should we go see it?
DUKE: Well, you like action, don’t you?
BRIAN and REUBEN: YEAH!
DUKE: Well, that’s the best part of this movie — lots of action and cool fight sequences. There are ninjas, too! And even kid ninjas!
BRIAN: Kid ninjas?!? That’s awesome! I want to be a kid ninja when I grow up!
(Reuben rolls his eyes)
DUKE: There are also hot women — who fight.

Ho Joe!: Apparently push-up bras are now
standard issue in the military.

REUBEN: So there are strong female characters? That’s cool.
DUKE: Of course! They’re totally as tough as the guys — except when they’re crying or needing to be rescued! But did I mention they’re hot? That’s because G.I. Joe recruited the world’s most elite soldiers and fashion models.
BRIAN: What about minorities? Is G.I. Joe diverse?
DUKE: You bet! One of the main characters is black. And his character has the kind of gravitas that only a Wayans brother can bring to a movie. And he only gets arrested twice in the movie!
REUBEN: Umm …
DUKE (waving aside Reuben’s concerns): Don’t worry; we treat minorities with the same respect that we treat women.
BRIAN: What about the plot, dialogue and character development?
DUKE: Did I mention that lots of stuff blows up? Because it does! And we have cool nanotechnology that lets us get away with anything! It’s the best plot device ever!
BRIAN: OK, but you didn’t answer my question about the plot and dialogue …
DUKE: I’ve seen your DVD collection, Brian. You’ll be fine.
REUBEN: Oh, God.
DUKE: So, what have you boys learned?
BRIAN: Apparently, I should lock my doors.
REUBEN: I learned how to save $10!
DUKE: That’s right. Now you know …
ALL: And knowing is half the battle!