I just watched the new Superman Returns teaser, and I have a weird feeling of déjà flew.

It’s not Tom Welling.
Coulda fooled me.

The 90-second clip is all origin mythos, with Marlon Brando explaining to Supes why he must fight for humanity. Wait a minute, Brando got all fat and died years ago, which means the voiceover is actually taken from the Christopher Reeve Superman. You know, the one that came out the year I was born.

Most of the footage is of young Clark Kent running around corn fields. Kinda like what we see every week on The WB’s Smallville.

We get no Lex Luthor, no idea what the movie is about and no big effects money shot to get us excited about it. This teaser is pure Kryptonite, as far as I’m concerned.