Wanted was so bad that the film destroyed itself in order to spare the audience from having to endure anymore of it. Although I would have preferred it to have made this sacrifice before the movie was almost finished.

I’m pretty sure the movie ending this way
was far more interesting than however
the movie actually ends.

The film revolves around Wesley (James McAvoy) being awoken from his hum-drum life to find he is destined to be one of the world’s great assassins. He is to become a member of The Fraternity, a group originally formed by a bunch of — and I’m not joking — weavers. I honestly thought it was a typo in the intro text. But later on they mention the LOOM OF FATE. (Again, not kidding; I couldn’t make up crap that ridiculous.) Apparently a loom issues hits on people. A loom.

Oy.

So anyhow, Fox (Angelina Jolie) and a host of other characters train Wesley until he becomes an assassin and the plot progresses in a way that is surprisingly boring at times. All the coolest stuff you’ve already seen in the trailers (curving bullets, flipping the car over the limo to kill a guy, Fox sweeping Wesley up in the car in the parking lot). So you’re left with a pretty ridiculous plot, some bad dialogue, an annoying and sometimes rather off-putting inner monologue (Wesley points out how his pathetic existence is just like the audience’s; speak for yourself, dude) and a bunch of action that would be cool except you’ve already seen the best of it. It’s just missing a training montage to some Rocky music.

It seemed like an idea with a lot of promise — cool bullet effects and Angelina Jolie as an assassin, which worked great in Mr. and Mrs. Smith — but it all falls very flat and sometimes unintentionally comic.

The film reel did the right thing when it stopped itself and melted. And for that, I shall always be thankful. To paraphrase Morgan Freeman’s character: Kill one reel, save thousands from having to watch it.